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Parenting Tip of the Week - Strategy for Discipline

Source: Military Community and Family Policy (MC&FP) Weekly eNewsletter

Frustration, anger, and occasional acting-out are behaviors seen in every child. Whether you are strict or more laid-back and easy-going, it is important to find a strategy of discipline that works for your family. The following guidelines may help you shape your approach.

• Always consider your child's age when setting limits or punishing. It is unfair to expect more than a child can do. For example, a two- or three-year-old cannot control the impulse to touch things. Instead of instructing them not to touch, remove fragile objects from reach. If you send your toddler to the bedroom for more than five minutes, the child may totally forget the reason due to a short attention span.

• Be clear. A child should understand what behavior needs to change. Rather than saying, "Your room is messy," tell the child what needs to be picked up or cleaned. The first time you show the behavior that needs to change, explain what the punishment will be the next time it happens. Do not keep defending yourself once you have stated what you want.

• Be consistent. Do not change rules or punishments at random. Punishments will obviously change as the child gets older, so make sure you explain why the rules change. If one caregiver accepts certain behaviors but another caregiver punishes for the same behavior, the child is likely to become confused. Eventually, the child may learn to play one adult against the other.

• Reward good behavior. Complement the child on a new behavior that you have been working to improve. Reward them with more attention for desired behaviors. Save toys, gifts, or money for changes that you and the child have been working on for a longer period of time.

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