Parenting Tip of the Week - Setting Limits
Source: Military Community and Family Policy (MC&FP) Weekly eNewsletter
When you set limits, both you and your child will know what to expect from a given situation. Check out the following guidelines:
- Be specific. Say exactly what you mean and give details so there is no confusion.
- Offer choices. Make sure you believe that any option you offer, and therefore any choice your child makes, is okay.
- Be firm. Use clear and definite words when you want to insist on your child doing what you say. This is particularly important when it involves your child’s health and safety.
- Accentuate the positive. Choose words that steer clear of no, stop, and don’t. Instead, emphasize what you want (and why), rather than what you don’t want.
- Explain why the limit is needed. A request or a rule can seem arbitrary if the child doesn’t know why it is in place. Reiterate the rule, then explain the reason behind it.
- Suggest an alternative. A child's request might not be unreasonable, just inconvenient. Rather than rejecting the idea, suggest another, more convenient time or place for the activity.
- Be consistent. Stick to the house rules — all the time. That way, your child will always know what to expect and what is expected of him or her.
- Disapprove of the behavior, not the child. Make sure your child understands that you object to a specific action or activity and not him or her.
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